She’s in her 20s, divorced, former pole-dancer, unlucky in love and has dealt with everything from abortions to wedding day bombs. Her flatmate’s 17, doing her HSC, unemployed, in love, and as unpredictable and tempestuous as any typical teenager. Did someone say The Odd Couple?
Matilda is beside herself this week when the solution to her unhappiness at home presents itself – share with Martha! Now that Hugh is out of the picture, surely nothing would be better than having a gal pal to chin-wag and split the bills with right? Well, Martha isn’t so sure – and it looks like her fears are certainly justified! Mattie definitely didn’t follow the Ten Commandments of Share-Housing! Read and learn Mattie!
1. Thou shall not eat thou flattie’s food. After another sleepless night plagued by thoughts of your ex-husband and his new girlfriend, a good breaky is definitely on the cards. What’s worse than coming out to empty milk bottles and scraps of cereal? Nothing. Nothing’s worse than that.
2. Thou shalt not have one’s boyfriend over 24/7. The cardinal sin of foolish flatmates! Hey, we all love Ric. We love his caring nature, his quick wit and his broad, broad shoulders. But if we wanted to live with him, he’d be paying rent and buying loo paper, just like everyone else. Which brings us to:
3. Thou shalt buy loo paper. The Loo Paper Fairy has hung her wings up I’m afraid.
4. Thou shalt not use all the hot water. We’re in a drought people! How long do those showers have to be??
5. Thou shalt not watch noisy TV all night. Just because you’;ve been hanging out all week to stay in on Friday night and watch back-to-back clips on Rage doesn’t mean everyone is.
6. Thou shalt make vegetable soup when one’s flatmate is has had The Day From Hell. Just a general rule we should all live by, don’t you think?
7. Thou shall have a kick-arse housewarming party. Hey, just cause the last party Mattie was involved in left Sally’s pad trashed doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. (Um, actually maybe it does)
8. Thou shall do the washing up. See Loo Paper Fairy rule.
9. Thou shall never borrow clothes without asking. Begging, bribing and cajoling are all fine. And if you wanna get the thumbs up for round two, here’s a tip: dryclean the threads before you return them. Major, major brownie points.
10. Thou shall always offer the last Tim-Tam. Wanna live in sharehouse bliss from now till forever? That’s the secret right there! Who would have thought it was so simple!!
Have you had some good or bad experiences sharing a flat? What rules do you think we've missed? Email us and let us know on homeandaway@seven.com.au
Lion: I shared a flat with a flat mate once and it was with a person with a completely different personality to me. She liked having guys over all the time like her boy friend and she would keep the radio on really loud at night time, she would eat all the chocolate not leaving any for me and eat all the good food, I soon moved out but living with Elise was one of my craziest time in my life.
